Meeting New People and Staying Safe

Meeting new people safely

Meeting new people is a normal part of everyday life. Whether you're starting a new job, joining a club, using dating apps, or simply chatting to someone at a social event, most encounters will be perfectly pleasant and straightforward. Most people you encounter typically have no ill intentions.

That said, it makes sense to look after yourself when you're around people you don't know well. A bit of awareness and some simple habits can help you stay safe without making you suspicious of everyone you meet. This approach focuses on being cautiously proactive rather than unnecessarily fearful.

Staying aware of your surroundings

One of the simplest things you can do is stay alert when you're in unfamiliar situations or around people you've just met. This doesn't mean being constantly on edge. It just means paying attention to what's going on around you.

Notice where the exits are if you're in a new venue. Keep an eye on your belongings. If you're in a pub, bar, or club and feel uncomfortable or unsafe, many venues in the UK participate in the 'Ask for Angela' scheme. You can approach staff and ask for Angela, which is a code phrase that lets them know you need help discreetly. They can then assist you in getting away from the situation safely.

If something feels off about a situation or a person, trust that feeling. You don't need to justify it to anyone. Leaving a situation that makes you uncomfortable is always an option, and there's nothing rude about it.

Alcohol and other substances can affect your judgement and reactions. If you're meeting someone new, particularly for the first time, keeping a clear head can help you make better decisions. You don't have to avoid drinking altogether, but staying in control of yourself is sensible when you're still getting to know someone.

If you're out with friends, look out for each other. Agree beforehand that you'll check in with one another throughout the evening. Having someone who knows where you are and who you're with adds an extra layer of security.

Protecting your personal information

When you first meet someone, you don't owe them your life story. It's perfectly reasonable to keep certain details private until you've had a chance to build some trust.

Think carefully before sharing:

• Your home address
• Your workplace or daily routine
• Financial information or details about your income
• Personal information about family members
• Your full name, particularly if it makes you easy to find online

Phone numbers are another consideration. Some people prefer to use messaging apps that don't reveal their number, at least initially. Others might give out their number freely. There's no single right approach, but don't feel pressured into sharing contact details before you're ready.

Whatever services you use to communicate, enabling two factor authentication adds important protection to your accounts. This means that even if someone obtains your password, they cannot access your account without a second verification step, such as a code sent to your phone.

Social media profiles often contain more information than people realise they're sharing publicly. Your check ins at local cafes, photos tagged with locations, workplace updates, and even the friends list visible on your profile can paint a detailed picture of your life and movements. Check your privacy settings on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. The National Cyber Security Centre has guidance on securing your social media accounts if you want to review your settings.

Be particularly cautious about anyone who pushes hard for personal information early on. Most genuine people will understand and respect boundaries. Someone who reacts badly to you taking things slowly may be showing you something about their character.

Meeting people from the internet

Online dating and social apps have become a common way to meet people. Most connections made this way are genuine, but the internet does make it easier for people to misrepresent themselves.

When arranging to meet someone you've only spoken to online, a few precautions make sense:

• Meet in a public place for your first few meetings
• Tell a friend or family member where you're going, who you're meeting, and when you expect to be back
• Arrange your own transport so you're not dependent on the other person
• Keep your phone charged and with you
• Consider having a check in call or text arranged with someone you trust

Video calling before meeting in person can help confirm that someone is who they say they are. It's not foolproof, but it adds a level of reassurance.

Romance fraud is a genuine concern. This is where someone builds a relationship with you online, often over weeks or months, before asking for money or financial help. They may claim to have an emergency, need help with travel costs to visit you, or have some other seemingly urgent reason. The amounts requested often start small and increase over time.

If someone you've never met in person asks you for money, be extremely cautious. While there can occasionally be genuine emergencies, this pattern of behaviour is a hallmark of romance fraud. Take time to verify any claims independently and consider speaking to someone you trust before making any decisions. If you're concerned about a situation, you can report it to Action Fraud, the UK's national reporting centre for fraud and cybercrime, via their website or by calling 0300 123 2040.

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Recognising warning signs

Most people have good intentions, but it helps to know some of the behaviours that can indicate a problem. None of these signs mean someone is definitely dangerous, but they may warrant caution:

• Pushing you to share personal information quickly
• Getting angry or sulky when you set boundaries
• Trying to isolate you from friends or family
• Making you feel guilty for wanting to take things slowly
• Inconsistent stories about their life or circumstances
• Pressuring you to meet alone or in private before you're comfortable
• Overwhelming you with attention and affection very quickly, sometimes called love bombing

Building trust is a process, and understanding individuals will respect the pace you set.

If you feel unsafe at any point, whether you're meeting someone for the first time or you've known them for a while, you can contact the police. In an emergency, call 999. For non emergency situations, you can call 101 or report concerns online through your local police force website.

Victim Support offers free and confidential help to anyone affected by crime or traumatic events, whether or not the crime has been reported to the police. You can contact them on 08 08 16 89 111 or through their website.

Trusting your instincts

That uneasy feeling you sometimes get around certain people or in particular situations is your brain processing information faster than your conscious mind can analyse it. You might be picking up on micro expressions, inconsistencies in what someone says, body language that doesn't match their words, or subtle environmental cues that suggest something isn't quite right. These reactions have evolved over thousands of years to help keep us safe.

You don't need to have a specific reason or be able to explain it clearly. Feeling uncomfortable is reason enough to leave a situation, end a conversation, or stop responding to messages.

Politeness is valuable, but it should never come at the expense of your safety. You are allowed to be direct, to say no, to leave without explanation, or to block someone online without giving a reason. These are not rude behaviours. They are normal ways of protecting yourself.

Most new people you meet will be exactly what they appear to be: ordinary people going about their lives, just like you. The point of taking sensible precautions isn't to make you suspicious of everyone. It's to help you enjoy meeting new people with a bit more confidence, knowing you've got your own back.

Building new relationships and connections is one of the good parts of life. A few simple habits can help you do that while looking after yourself at the same time.